Excerpt of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir:
“Today a woman came in to reapply for a job. She wrote that she’d quit last month but now wanted her job back. On “reason for leaving” she wrote: “That job sucked. Plus, my supervisor was a douche-nugget.” She was reapplying for the exact same job. I rehired her and reassigned her to her old supervisor, because I totally agreed with her. That guy was totally a douche-nugget.”… Read More
I had an employee who was having trouble validating her Flexible Spending Account charges. She was very upset and had no idea why the FSA administrator had rejected her documentation. She submitted reciepts for the reimbursement of the cost of insulin for her family member, Frankie. Problem is, Frankie was her beloved corgi dog… Read More
When a company is planning to do layoffs, the executive and management team tries to keep the proceedings under wraps, having secret off-site meetings, negotiating between departments without letting on about what it going on and trying to keep employees in the dark. Employees catch wind of layoffs very easily if the management team isn’t careful.
I was working at a company and walked into a meeting room where a group of executives had just met. On the board was a list of names that someone had… Read More
A first for me. Had a candidate start an interview, then tell the hiring manager to hold on someone is at the door… client hears… “this room CLEAR,” “bathroom CLEAR,” etc. The client heard the police sweeping the house! The candidate never returns, then the police are in front of the computer and the last thing the hiring manager/client heres is “What is this guy… some kind of YouTuber?” and that’s it. On the plus side, we recieved immediate feedback! :-)… Read More
Several months into my position as the first full-time HR manager for a start-up company in Seattle, I had completed redesigning the layout for the personnel folders. In the process, I noticed that a lot information pertaining to benefits seemed to be less than organized. At that point, I decided it would be prudent to develop a quick reference on all the employees so I could quickly access which benefits each person had.
It was a fun, easy idea at first, which quickly began to snowball. Only… Read More
Our office received some devastating news—a coworker had been killed in a horrible skiing accident. Everyone was upset, but one lady was completely distraught—even though she had supposedly only met him a few times. Well, it turns out that the distraught lady was having an affair with the “dead” guy.
His wife found out and he figured that calling in dead was the best way to dump the mistress. He pretended to be his own wife and called himself in dead. One might imagine that after the wife foun… Read More
As people in the office were putting up Halloween decorations one woman asked that they be place far away from her because she was afraid of spiders. In fact, her exact words were, “Please put those over there. I am deathly afraid of spiders.”
Unfortunately, one of her co-workers thought it would be funny to poke fun at this woman’s fears. This woman was 50-something and was recovering her sight in an eye where she had recently suffered from a detached retina. Her co-worker approached her fro… Read More
We have this one relatively crazy woman that works in her shop. She’s got a son who at the time of this story was around 16. This woman decides that her son needed some experience sexually with an older woman so she actually went to one of the women in our accounting department who was around 60 or so and asked her if she’d be interested in having sex with her 16-year-old son because she wanted his first time to be with someone experienced. I shit you not, I was sitting outside our HR person’s o… Read More
From WWLTV.com: A fired sheriff’s office employee, who reportedly died in 1999, was actually using another woman’s identity to earn a six-figure salary before she was caught. A jury deliberated for 15 minutes before finding 41yo Cindy T. White guilty of charges of identity theft over $1,000 Wednesday. Prosecutors say White had listed on her resume that she obtained a bachelor’s degree from Tulane University and a master’s degree from Hebrew University in Jerusalem. Investigators say White was hi… Read More
Not a manager but for my last job I read over the resumes and made piles of no’s and maybes’. Anyway one of the people put “practicing Christian” in their “other skills” section. One put “really good at yu-gi-oh cards”. Another put the word resume on the center top of their resume… Read More