I work at a gas station that sells “made to order” food. Most people who call out of work will give some type of legitimate excuse as to why they can’t come in, they are sick, etc. One Friday night a 3rd shifter called to say he wasn’t coming in that night. His reason? “I have a life” and hung up… Read More
Excerpt of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir:
“Today a woman came in to reapply for a job. She wrote that she’d quit last month but now wanted her job back. On “reason for leaving” she wrote: “That job sucked. Plus, my supervisor was a douche-nugget.” She was reapplying for the exact same job. I rehired her and reassigned her to her old supervisor, because I totally agreed with her. That guy was totally a douche-nugget.”… Read More
I worked at a multi-state restaurant chain routinely responding to workplace incidents to provide employee relations guidance. A food court location manager called in to report the firing of a hostile employee. The fired employee had threatened to whip everyone’s motherfucking ass after work. She was especially directing this to two other females who she felt caused her separation. We discussed this situation and recommended the manager have mall security escort the two employees to their car a… Read More
A first for me. Had a candidate start an interview, then tell the hiring manager to hold on someone is at the door… client hears… “this room CLEAR,” “bathroom CLEAR,” etc. The client heard the police sweeping the house! The candidate never returns, then the police are in front of the computer and the last thing the hiring manager/client heres is “What is this guy… some kind of YouTuber?” and that’s it. On the plus side, we recieved immediate feedback! :-)… Read More
Several months into my position as the first full-time HR manager for a start-up company in Seattle, I had completed redesigning the layout for the personnel folders. In the process, I noticed that a lot information pertaining to benefits seemed to be less than organized. At that point, I decided it would be prudent to develop a quick reference on all the employees so I could quickly access which benefits each person had.
It was a fun, easy idea at first, which quickly began to snowball. Only… Read More
I had an employee who was having trouble validating her Flexible Spending Account charges. She was very upset and had no idea why the FSA administrator had rejected her documentation. She submitted reciepts for the reimbursement of the cost of insulin for her family member, Frankie. Problem is, Frankie was her beloved corgi dog… Read More
Our office received some devastating news—a coworker had been killed in a horrible skiing accident. Everyone was upset, but one lady was completely distraught—even though she had supposedly only met him a few times. Well, it turns out that the distraught lady was having an affair with the “dead” guy.
His wife found out and he figured that calling in dead was the best way to dump the mistress. He pretended to be his own wife and called himself in dead. One might imagine that after the wife foun… Read More
When a company is planning to do layoffs, the executive and management team tries to keep the proceedings under wraps, having secret off-site meetings, negotiating between departments without letting on about what it going on and trying to keep employees in the dark. Employees catch wind of layoffs very easily if the management team isn’t careful.
I was working at a company and walked into a meeting room where a group of executives had just met. On the board was a list of names that someone had… Read More
As people in the office were putting up Halloween decorations one woman asked that they be place far away from her because she was afraid of spiders. In fact, her exact words were, “Please put those over there. I am deathly afraid of spiders.”
Unfortunately, one of her co-workers thought it would be funny to poke fun at this woman’s fears. This woman was 50-something and was recovering her sight in an eye where she had recently suffered from a detached retina. Her co-worker approached her fro… Read More